Sometimes lessons appear in the strangest of places….like the Super Bowl.
Weeks before the big game, I wasn’t thinking about the battle on the field between the Colts and Saints.
I was thinking about the battle within me. I was living two separate lives, one life being a jet-setting modern woman traveling the world, the other a spiritual yogi who loved to heal, spending endless hours practicing Ashtanga yoga and studying philosophy.
The battle had been happening for quite some time. I loved my yoga life. It fueled my spiritual prowess, and as a yogi, I immersed myself in practice. I was eating vegan, dressed from head to toe in yogi wear and living the yogi lifestyle.
But there was something that pulled at me that made me feel out of place as a full-blown practicing yogi. It felt a little weird. Something was off.
It was Super Bowl week in Miami and I was going.
The moment I stepped off the plane, I felt the energy the vibration at an all-time high.
The champagne, the parties, the loud chants of “Who Dat” from the droves of Saints fans shocked me as I was living a very simplistic life at the time.
But the ambiance of Super Bowl week was somewhat comforting.
The morning of the Maxim magazine party, I stood looking in the mirror….I hadn’t shaved for several weeks. I hadn’t colored my hair in months, hadn’t had a manicure or pedicure, and my feet hadn’t seen heels ages.
“I can’t go to the Maxim Party with hairy armpits.” I thought to myself, so I headed straight for the spa.
And let me tell you, that night walking into the Maxim party I felt gorgeous!
I was fully groomed, pampered and manicured. I wore this stunning baby blue satin dress and sparkling stilettos.
I was feeling myself so hard that night, I barely noticed all the celebrities and models around me. I was just so happy to have shaved legs and clean hair!
But something struck me that night at the party.
I stopped and noticed the emptiness around me.
The girls with hollow eyes all thirsty over the players, guys doing shot after shot and acting like dogs to the models. There was irritation and weariness on the faces of the coaches’ wives who looked like they would have preferred to stay home and drink a bottle of wine alone.
I realized that fully embracing this life of parties, models, and celebrities were not for me.
It wasn’t who I was.
Getting home, I showered and sat overlooking the ocean until the sun came up.
I felt stuck between the two worlds that have been battling. I loved living a spiritual life, but I also like to swear, eat meat, drink tequila and wear dresses that showed a little too much.
But the sun came up, the answer came to me.
Life was not about choosing one life or another. It was not about being super spiritual or being a party girl.
What I learned about myself was that I was both sides.
It can often feel at times that we have to be defined by society, that we have to be one or the another. The beauty of being human is the different facets and personalities we hold. That is why we are unique.
I was all of the partying and craziness of a Super Bowl week and I was also the calm and spiritual yogi. The only reason I felt conflict was because I was fighting it and felt like I had to choose between the two.
I was a spiritual woman that had fake lashes and wore hot pink yoga pants. I was the modern jet setting woman that could read people’s energy, heal others by my modalities and sit in lotus chanting in Sanskrit for hours.
Once I realized that I had two facets to me, a wave of peace and acceptance came over me.
I was complete. I was authentic. I was me.
And, the Super Bowl….epic.