Author: Jessica Smith

Eckhart Tolle walked onto the Denver stage and asked, “why did you choose to incarnate at this time?”

 

Instantly I knew my answer. I am strong and loving enough to be in this world and do my part to make it a better one.

 

My strength has been tested the last month with the unexpected passing of the best man I knew, my Dad. A month ago I woke up blissfully unaware that my life was about to turn upside down. While out on a morning run I received the news of his sudden death. 

 

He was my rock. He was easy going. He was wise. He was hilarious. He was virtuous. He was all the things every human strives to be. 

 

Amongst of the painful emotions that come with a loss of a loved one. A father’s death exposes deep seated fear that can hide within a woman leaving her feeling vulnerable and lost without the guidance and love of the most important man. 

 

This fear sat within my chest for the weeks following his passing waiting patiently for me to acknowledge its presence. Deep down I knew if any good were to come of this tragic loss I would have to be brave enough to come face to face with this unsurmountable feeling of grief that was so painful I was unsure if I could recover. As though confronting this pain was like falling into an abyss that I would surely slip away and cease to exist. 

 

One night alone on a mountain top where I was safely held by Spirit and my ancestors I stepped boldly into my fear. I opened the door to the suffering within me. Diving into the pain, surrendering to the grief, and allowing myself to feel all I feared. Never have I felt such agony, never have I wailed, never have I felt so close to death myself. 

 

My Earthly side didn’t know if I’d make it through the night and my Angelic side knew I needed it for my soulful evolution in order to fulfill my spiritual duties in this life. 

 

Leaving my sacred space on the mountainside the next morning, I was not the same woman. I was transformed into something more loving, compassionate, and strong. 

 

The fear had vanished being replaced by peacefulness and a newfound fierceness was born.

 

Whatever you’re facing, walk through your storm. Calm skies wait for you on the other side.

 

Thanksgiving is about celebrating, appreciating, giving thanks for everything we have in our life. But it comes with its challenges. 

Single or coupled up, you deserve to have the best holiday

I’m going to help you navigate the holiday season no matter your relationship status.

Being single can be tough. Heading home and fielding family questions can be tough. Bringing a new person home to your family can be tough…and awkward. I’ll address tips on how to successfully meet your person’s family later on. 

Read this to get your mind right, help you stay cool, calm collected and truly enjoy the holiday regardless of your relationship status. You are going to walk away today ready to take on the holiday and fill it with so much damn joy you won’t know what to do with it!

I’m also going to tell you why it’s actually pretty awesome to be single over the holidays. Yes, you read that right!

Single and ready to merry mingle!

A lot of us get scared going into the holiday season single because emotions come up, and maybe you’re disappointed to be single again this year. You are yearning to finally have your person with you over the holiday season. 

This very well could be your last holiday season alone. Let that soak in for a second!

There are a ton of benefits to being single over the holidays. Sometimes when we have a significant other, we make them the focus and give them all our attention, which can mean we are less engaging with our family and friends. 

This year, I highly encourage you to be present and spend good quality time with your friends and family by being very engaging compassionate and loving. 

How to have the best holiday yet!

No matter if you are really excited to see your family or really dreading it a great way to prepare for the holidays is to meditate and give yourself a pep talk before visiting your loved ones. 

I do a short 5 to 7 minute meditation and then I set my intention for dinner with my family. In some cases I tell myself, I’m going to be calm, I’m going to relax, and love my family exactly how they are. 

You might want to create a mantra for yourself. Something like: 

I am peaceful and at ease 

I am grateful for my loved ones

Or, my personal favorite – I will not punch my brother

Take the time, be present

It’s recently hit me that my parents won’t be around forever and we probably only have twenty plus thanksgivings together. And when I think about that, it’s not very much. Our time together, our Thanksgivings together, they are priceless. We need to make them count.

Maybe in past years you’ve gotten really annoyed with your prying great Aunt Lucy and have blown her off because you didn’t want to deal with her questioning you…but maybe this year you actually sit down with her and spend a few minutes chatting with her, listening to her and just being kind to her. 

Give Grandma a hug

This is the year where you walk into the kitchen and tell your mom how much you love her how appreciative you are of all the time and hard work she put into raising you right and tell her she’s an amazing cook. Take a minute to talk to Grandma about how she met Grandpa. 

This holiday season you are going to show up for your friends and family, giving them your attention, your energy, your love, your appreciation.

Party, eat, do what you want!

A couple added benefits to being single over the holidays: The night before Thanksgiving is one of the biggest going out nights of the year, so if you are single and ready to mingle you need to get out on that night!

Another bonus: on Thanksgiving, you can do what you want! You can see who you want, spend time with who you want, and eat as much pie as you want! When you do get coupled up, you might not have as much freedom. 

So for now, unbutton those pants and have that third slice of pie because there’s no worrying! You don’t have to impress anyone – you can just eat, drink and be merry! 

Warning: sentimental and sappy is everywhere

Be warned, some of us are really comfortable with our single selves. But then something happens – we see families around us, couples kissing, toasting to new engagements, families growing, the pitter-patter of footsteps, all the sentimental, heart-melting endearing moments. 

Suddenly, our once steadfast single attitude crumbles at the sight of our grandparents holding hands at the dinner table and out of nowhere we decide we need a significant other, a house, 4 children, a dog, and a minivan.

Just remember, over the holidays we get extra sentimental but a lot of these feelings are fleeting and you will be soon back into your normal day to day life free of the fantasy land sappy hallmark pressure.

“Have you met anyone?”

Let’s talk about the dreaded questioning of your single status. The ‘why haven’t you met anyone nice yet’ ‘when are you going to settle down and get married’ ‘why haven’t you given us grandbabies’ ‘what happened to that nice boy?’ These questions are inevitable, so be prepared to handle them. 

You know that your grandparents want to know when you’re going to meet a nice person. Remember, your family loves you. They are asking prying questions because they are really curious and want to understand what’s going on with you. 

Single = Awesome

Here’s the deal, Don’t let these questions bother you! Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re not valuable. There was a time that singleness equated to unworthiness and people would act weird if someone was divorced or single at a certain age, but now that is outdated and completely untrue. Times have changed!

However, your great aunt lucy is probably still living with these archaic beliefs. So Just understand that Aunt Lucy is from a different generation, she loves you and just wants to see you with a good person. Make light of the situation and don’t let it diminish you! 

Be prepared for anything

So before walking into Thanksgiving dinner, think about how you are going to handle these questions so they don’t come out of left field and hit you in the gut. Think about the questions you could potentially be asked and how you can answer them in a loving and positive way. 

With planning and preparation, you can diffuse and resolve potentially tumultuous conversations.

Your new holiday boo

Maybe you’re dating someone and this is your first holiday together. Hooray! This can be a very exciting time full of all the feels. And you are hoping for the holiday of your dreams. You’re gathered around the table, everyone is happy and laughing like a Norman Rockwell painting. There’s excitement around introducing your new person to your family and friends. You are hoping going to go off without a hitch. 

This can also be very nervewracking! 

You might be afraid that your dickhead brother is going to be a jerk, your grandmother might say something embarrassing, your dad could go stone-cold with disapproval. 

Aunt Lucy is a little…eccentric

Every family has crazy in it. Granted, there are varying degrees of craziness, your families crazy isn’t a reflection of you. You are a great freaking catch and if your family has a large amount of crazy, warn the person you’re bringing home to Thanksgiving and ask them to love your family as they are and go with the flow. 

Have your mind right, have your attitude right, and go in with the intention of having a wonderful holiday together. That might mean calming your nerves by meditating, working out, or doing whatever gives you peace. Relax, knowing that everything is going to work out as it should. 

Tips for meeting a new family 

Go into Thanksgiving with an open mind and a big heart. 

Remember to be kind and have good manners. Being courteous goes a long way. Just like your mom taught you, say please and thank you and be kind and gracious. 

Take a gift! Bring mom some wine, flowers, chocolates…you can’t go wrong with these three things! For a nice added touch, Go to any grocery store with a floral department and ask the florist to make an arrangement for you Instead of getting a pre-packaged bouquet. And while you’re there, grab a case of beer for dad.

Remember to just be yourself, and put your best foot forward. 

Eat pie and have fun!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving full of love, laughter, and quality time with your loved ones. Count your blessings, eat your pie, and make each moment count.