5 Signs That Show He is Into You

One of the scariest parts of dating is not knowing if the man you’re into likes you in return. We spend countless hours crushing hard on him, and when we do, there are so many feelings and questions going through our mind and body that make our rational thoughts fly out the window.
The period of frequent questioning occurs in what I call the awkward phase. This phase happens between the first date and the commitment date. In the awkward phase, we aren’t quite sure what the relationship status. There is also a high likelihood that he has shown that he likes us and we have missed his signs because we are susceptible to high levels of oxytocin and dopamine that can cause irrational thinking and potential confusion about him and his feelings towards us.
Before you go asking him what you are to him and frantically panicking over if he’ll ever ask you to become his girlfriend, here are 5 signs that show he is into you.
He Calls You
Making actual phone calls to someone you like is a rare occurrence these days, but if he has called you especially multiple times, that is a good sign he is into you. No matter what decade he was born in, if he likes you, he will call you to ask about your day, invite you on a date again or merely to hear your beautiful voice.
Pay attention to what he is saying to you on the phone. He will tell you everything you need to know about how he feels about you.
He Listens to You
If he is paying attention to you when you talk, asks you questions about your upbringing and is genuinely interested in what you have to say, he values his time with you. When a man appreciates his time with a woman, there is nothing close that could take his attention away from you.
He Responds to Your Texts in a Timely Manner
This sign is a little tricky because of how accessible we are to each with our phones and the ever-growing list full of responsibilities we have to fulfill. However, if he responds to your texts instantly or within a couple hours, he’s making you a priority. If does not respond to your texts in a timely manner or at all, more than likely he is not into you.
He Makes Time to Be with You
As busy as everyone is with work, family, and errands when he likes you he will make time for you no matter what he has on his plate. Men make time for women they see themselves having a future with so if he has hung out with you on an ongoing basis and it is consistent, chances are you matter to him much more than you think.
He Introduces You to His Friends and Family
Even if it’s not a formal gathering to meet his parents or his best friend from college, it still means something if he invites to have a beer and watch the game with him and his guys. It says that he thinks highly of you and wants you to meet the people closest to him.
So if he asks you to join him on Football Sunday with him and his friends, better brush up on your football knowledge.
Hopefully, these signs will help you determine if he’s into you or not when you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I also talk about more signs that show he likes you on an episode of The Game of Love Podcast that you can listen to on Apple, Google Play, and more.

3 Common Myths on Dating Women That Can Be Affecting Your Love Life

With so many men armed with false beliefs about dating women, it’s affecting how men treat women as well as how they date them. With these misunderstandings cleared up, you’ll improve your perceptions of dating woman and enhance your dating life.
Let’s address the 3 Common Myths on Dating Women that can be affecting your love life.
-Women Want Free Meals on Date
Who doesn’t want free meals!? Everyone loves free food but are women just showing up on dates for free food?
No way!
They are going on dates looking for love, connection, and enjoyment just like you are. With many women making their own money and taking care of themselves, they can buy their own food and aren’t walking into dates with a sense of entitlement.
I often hear from men that dating is also expensive. According to The Match Group who owns Match and Tinder, the average cost of a date is $102. In California, it’s $226.35!
If someone is going on two dates a week that adds up to $816 per month on dating!
I’m not a fan of dinner on first dates. I advise my clients to do coffee or cocktails to keep it simple and relaxed, so you have an environment to get to know the person you are going out with. Enjoying a beverage is a lot more approachable for people and often reduces the pressure that comes with a first date.
An hour or 90 minutes together enjoying a beverage is a lot more approachable for people, and they often feel less pressure.
-Pretty Women Are Always Being Pursued
Most people assume that attractive people are either in relationships or continually being hit on. When it comes to men, most of them are afraid of approaching pretty women due to the fear of being rejected and embarrassed by her.
This isn’t true, and more often than not, incredibly beautiful women are experiencing Saturday nights single and wanting to go out on dates. The Pretty Girl Myth applies to the notion that because you think they are attractive, they must be taken when in fact they are as single as you are.
With that being said, be fearless but be a gentleman; otherwise, you will ruin your chance to take out the girl you’ve been eyeing.
-All Women Are Crazy
The idea all women are crazy is old and outdated! All of us have a little bit of a crazy side, and when it comes to women, women are emotional beings and express how they feel often. They are not crazy because of this and men who believe this to be true need to take a look at themselves in the mirror. There are plenty of men who have lied, cheated, and led women on only to leave them at the drop of a hat for someone they find an upgrade.
I share more on The Game of Love Podcast about other common myths about dating women.

Here’s How You Can Tell If Someone is Lying

One afternoon I was shopping at Whole Foods buying stuff to make a salad when this handsome sandy hair blue eyed British guy asked me in his fabulous accent how to tell if watermelon was ripe.  20 minutes later we were standing in the Whole Foods produce section laughing and talking having a great conversation. He asked me out, and I was very excited to see him the next day.

The next day, the British guy and I sat down to have tea, and we were having a great conversation talking about philosophy and life. However, there was a weird feeling in my stomach. Something just felt a little off. I had been brushing it off as nerves, but as soon as I stopped and listened to the feeling, something in me said, “Girl, he’s married.”

Suddenly I smelled fabric softener and remembered a comedian who said, “Ladies, you can always tell if a dude is married if he smells like fabric softener.”

“Oh my God,” I thought. “That’s it.”

I looked at him and said calmly, “You’re married, aren’t you?”

He looked shocked almost sick to his stomach.

“How did you know?” he said. “How could you possibly know?”

He went on into a long dramatic story about him and his wife drama. I sat there and thanked the universe that I had listened to my intuition and spoke up. If I hadn’t listened and spoken up for myself, I could have gotten myself into a huge mess.

Your man or the man you are into may or may not be lying to you. If you want to find out, there are two things you need to do.

Ask Better Questions

Many of us need to better at vetting the men we are dating so we don’t blindly step into an unhealthy relationship. Men who are fabulous liars know how to dodge a question smoothly and skillfully but asking the right questions will keep them honest and help you find out if he’s lying to you.

Here’s a question you can ask him and get the answers you want if he’s seeing someone.

“Is there any woman out there that thinks you two are in a relationship?”

This question is designed to find out if he’s single or entangled with another woman by putting the focus on the potential another woman. The question takes the pressure off of him and allows him to open up and get a more truthful depiction of his situation.

You may get a lot of different answers from asking this question such as, “No, of course not. I wouldn’t be here with you if I did.”

“My baby mama is all crazy, and she’s drama….”

“There’s this one girl and but we aren’t serious.”

“I’m divorced or almost divorced.”

Whatever you get, make sure you listen and use your senses when he tells you the answer.

We need to listen better and using all of our facilities and senses.

Watch Your Tone and Listen

I always tell my clients that you can get the answer you want by asking questions with the right tone. When it comes to men, asking in a non-confrontational tone will create a safer place for them and will help them feel more comfortable in answering questions and having a conversation.

For example, when you ask “Is there a woman out there that thinks you’re in a relationship?” take a breath and listen with your eyes, ears, heart, and gut. Most important, listen to your intuition.

The answer will show up in your body as the icky feeling in your stomach. Your heart will tighten, and your mind will say to you “Something isn’t right here.” You’ll know right away if he’s legit and telling the truth or a lair. By using all of your resources, all of your senses, you’re going to hear the truth.

For more dating tips and tricks, listen to this episode of The Game of Love Podcast.

4 Tips to Getting Over Him After Sex

Ladies, have you ever had sex with a guy, and the days after it, you’ve checked your phone 6.473 times waiting for his text? You can’t stop thinking about him, imagining yourself as Mrs. Insert His Last Name and you’re obsessing over him.
Suddenly, your entire world is consumed by him.
If this is happening to you, ladies, chances are you’ve been dickmatized.
Dickmatized is when you start to catch feelings for a guy because the sex is fantastic.
It happens often, and when it does, it can cloud our judgment and thinking about the man we just slept with.
So how do we get dickmatized?
During sex, an array of chemicals are naturally created within the brain and sent carousing throughout the body. The hormones produced during sex like oxytocin, testosterone, dopamine, Vasopressin, and prolactin all produce physical and behavioral effects upon us.
Two of those hormones, oxytocin, and dopamine are best friends, and they feed off each other and work together.
Now, two of the hormones: oxytocin and dopamine are best friends. They feed off each other and work together. Oxytocin gives us the warm fuzzy feelings in our hearts, butterflies in our stomachs and has us lost in Pinterest for hours planning our dream wedding. Dopamine is released during gratifying experiences such as taking drugs, smoking, eating, and having sex.
When they work together especially during sex, they can drive us to unexplained obsession, infatuation, and neediness to a man. A bonding occurs, and we want more intimacy and pleasure with him. For roughly 3 weeks, dopamine builds up and triggers the oxytocin, next thing you know you are all over his dick and madly in love with him.
So how do you get over the guy you just slept with and get yourself through being dickmatized?
Here are 7 tips to getting over him after sex
Have Compassion For Yourself
Hormone and chemicals are coursing through your body causing these feelings, thoughts, and emotions and you have to remind yourself that you are not alone. It happens to every woman at some point, and it’s ok to feel like this.
When you start to feel stir crazy about him, give yourself some love.
Practice positive Self Talk
Positive self-talk will be your biggest ally against dickmatization. When you find yourself being carried away with incessant thoughts and daydreaming, kindly tell yourself, “It’s ok baby. You are just dickmatized. Time to put the phone down and do something fun.”
Be Clear About What You Want
If you’re not clear about what you want or who you want, your hormones will decide for you. Here are some questions you should be asking yourself.
Are you looking for a relationship or just to have fun?
Is he good for you?
Does he improve your life?
Would being with him be good for you?
Was the sex worth it?
Who is the man behind the dick?
Create an Action Plan
With each romantic situation being unique…your plan of action is going to vary. To create an effective plan, this will require you to step away from your situation emotionally and see it from a non-objective perspective.
You’ll NEED to be your own dating coach.
Perhaps you will have to decide that you need to distance yourself from him until you’re emotionally stable and cut off all contact. Maybe you’ll decide to just have fun with him and not pursue anything else outside of that, or you’ll want to continue a relationship with him. Whatever it is, creating a plan for what you want and what is right for you is essential to combatting the dick.
If creating an action plan is difficult you, envision what your most trusted friends or advisor would say to you about your situation.
You can’t get over being dickmatized with a snap of your fingers. You won’t be able to get rid of the thought of him as quick as you want. Sometimes, you have just to ride it out, but these tips will help you feel more composed, more rational and keep you in check when you find yourself in a ridiculous crush.
Check out more tips and tricks about getting over him from Jessica on the Game of Love Podcast.

How To Make This Valentine’s Day Your Last One Alone

Love it or loathe it, Valentines Day is upon us.
For single people, this holiday can be scarier than Halloween with its frightening reminder that they’re not with someone special. They may take on a dismissive attitude about the holiday and choose to ignore it. They decide not to turn the night into a fun evening with loved ones.
Others feel painfully rejected by it. As Valentine’s Day reserves it’s romance for people who have been so lucky to have found love and every Zales Jewelry commercial brings nothing but heartache.
So how can suffering singles and lonely lovers survive this haunting holiday?
You have to stop forcing love and looking for it. Love will come to you when you are ready and willing to let go of forcing it.
A lot can change in a year, a day, even one moment can change your life.
Let me tell you a story.
A year ago, I unexpectedly embarked on a fairytale whirlwind romance that had me all in lust.  In the very early stages of this love story, I was working in Nepal leading a spiritual, humanitarian expedition with Global Orphan Prevention.
I was sitting in an open-air restaurant eating amazing Nepali curry in Pokhara with one of my beautiful clients. She and I had become close throughout our beautiful and intense journey, so I felt comfortable to share my secret love for a man with her.
She saw first hand how fast I was falling for him and she smiled at me saying “Oh, we love to love, don’t we?” She explained that she had made peace with the fact that she may be alone forever.
She had everything she needed; her cat, amazing and beautiful loved ones, a great career and plenty of freedom to do whatever she wished. She felt that she’d never get married and would live her life as a single woman.
Her acceptance was astoundingly beautiful. She was happy, peaceful and rather monklike. I’ve rarely seen another person so tranquil and at peace with their singlehood.
Well, the universe had something up its sleeve as it always does.
Weeks later we returned back to the states, and as she returned to her normal life, a bit of a miracle occurred. After she came out and said she gave up on looking for love, she unexpectedly met someone who was a total catch and loved her. She later told me how shocked she was that this had happened to her.
I, however, was not shocked that this had happened. When we stop looking or trying so hard to force love or force being with someone, that is when the universe conspires to give it to us.
This morning, I received news of her engagement and a wedding this summer. I was beyond excited and thrilled for her.
So if you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone this year or you may feel you have given up on love, here are some ways you can prepare yourself for this Valentine’s Day to be the last one you spend alone.
Treat Yourself like a Queen or King
Make that amazing candlelight dinner, crack open that bottle of scotch, put some beautiful flowers on the table, soak in the rose petaled bathtub, turn on some R&B, Make the night about honoring and enjoying YOU!
Enjoying Time with Friends and Loved Ones
Who says your Valentine couldn’t be your grandma, bestie, your 7-year-old nephew or your Yorkie named Chopper?! Love is love so let’s celebrate and enjoy it!  Go out with your friends for the night or hang out with those closest to you. It makes the holiday so much more fun and enjoyable, and you realize how powerful love is!
Remind Yourself That You Are Not Alone and Have People Who Love You
Stop right now and think of all the people who love you! You ARE not alone. A record-setting number of singles in the United States are celebrating alone this year. There are 8 Billion people in this world. There is someone out there looking for what you have to offer!
Yes, this time next year, you could be madly in love sharing a wonderful romantic dinner for two and engaging in a long night of love and passion.
But for now treat yourself this Valentine’s Day and let it be the catalyst to the love you are looking for.

How I Found Myself at the Super Bowl

Sometimes lessons appear in the strangest of places….like the Super Bowl.

Weeks before the big game, I wasn’t thinking about the battle on the field between the Colts and Saints.

I was thinking about the battle within me. I was living two separate lives, one life being a jet-setting modern woman traveling the world, the other a spiritual yogi who loved to heal, spending endless hours practicing Ashtanga yoga and studying philosophy.

The battle had been happening for quite some time. I loved my yoga life. It fueled my spiritual prowess, and as a yogi, I immersed myself in practice. I was eating vegan, dressed from head to toe in yogi wear and living the yogi lifestyle.

But there was something that pulled at me that made me feel out of place as a full-blown practicing yogi. It felt a little weird. Something was off.

It was Super Bowl week in Miami and I was going.

The moment I stepped off the plane, I felt the energy the vibration at an all-time high.

The champagne, the parties, the loud chants of “Who Dat” from the droves of Saints fans shocked me as I was living a very simplistic life at the time.

But the ambiance of Super Bowl week was somewhat comforting.

The morning of the Maxim magazine party, I stood looking in the mirror….I hadn’t shaved for several weeks. I hadn’t colored my hair in months, hadn’t had a manicure or pedicure, and my feet hadn’t seen heels ages.

“I can’t go to the Maxim Party with hairy armpits.” I thought to myself, so I headed straight for the spa.

And let me tell you, that night walking into the Maxim party I felt gorgeous!

I was fully groomed, pampered and manicured. I wore this stunning baby blue satin dress and sparkling stilettos.

I was feeling myself so hard that night, I barely noticed all the celebrities and models around me. I was just so happy to have shaved legs and clean hair!

But something struck me that night at the party.

I stopped and noticed the emptiness around me.

The girls with hollow eyes all thirsty over the players, guys doing shot after shot and acting like dogs to the models. There was irritation and weariness on the faces of the coaches’ wives who looked like they would have preferred to stay home and drink a bottle of wine alone.

I realized that fully embracing this life of parties, models, and celebrities were not for me.

It wasn’t who I was.

Getting home, I showered and sat overlooking the ocean until the sun came up.

I felt stuck between the two worlds that have been battling. I loved living a spiritual life, but I also like to swear, eat meat, drink tequila and wear dresses that showed a little too much.

But the sun came up, the answer came to me.

Life was not about choosing one life or another. It was not about being super spiritual or being a party girl.

What I learned about myself was that I was both sides.

It can often feel at times that we have to be defined by society, that we have to be one or the another. The beauty of being human is the different facets and personalities we hold. That is why we are unique.

I was all of the partying and craziness of a Super Bowl week and I was also the calm and spiritual yogi. The only reason I felt conflict was because I was fighting it and felt like I had to choose between the two.

I was a spiritual woman that had fake lashes and wore hot pink yoga pants. I was the modern jet setting woman that could read people’s energy, heal others by my modalities and sit in lotus chanting in Sanskrit for hours.

Once I realized that I had two facets to me, a wave of peace and acceptance came over me.

I was complete. I was authentic. I was me.

And, the Super Bowl….epic.

“You Must be in Love, You’re Beaming!”

❤️”You Must be in Love, You’re Beaming!”❤️
While leading a transformational retreat in Costa Rica a few years ago a young woman from New Zealand was sharing with the group about how in love she was. We all sat and listened to her joyously talk about her boyfriend. It was quite endearing.
Suddenly, another one of my attendees looked at me and said, “YOU MUST be in love- you’re beaming!” Her words caught me off guard because I was single. I stopped, chuckled and said, “I appreciate you remarking on my happiness. I’m actually super single. I’m just happy with myself and my life!”
She looked utterly shocked and stared at me for a few moments, studying me, “OH my god, what are you going to be like when you ARE in love!”
Truth be told, I had come a long way! I wasn’t always so content and happy being single!! My happiness used to be contingent on a man being in my life. I reeked of desperation and neediness constantly looking for Mr. Right.
I had put in the “spiritual work” to go from lonely to illuminating. Doing Yoga, meditation, tons of therapy and self exploration lead me to this place of beaming happiness!!
If you’re struggling, take heart knowing that every moment you devote to your well-being is paying off. Every coaching session, every yoga pose, every minute in meditation, every time you look in the mirror and take steps to be a better human, every wish and every prayer….everything is an investment into your happiness and is paying off.
The icing on the cake… The happier you are the more attractive you are to others!
Just ask any of my amazing clients who have had life changing transformations with the work they put in!
Do you need help beaming with happiness? Visit my website to receive  my free gift, “7 Secrets to Manifesting Love” and to learn more about my services!💗

Dating Tip: Men’s Bumble Don’ts

🐝Dating Tip: Men’s Bumble Don’ts🐝

Gentleman, here are some tips to help with your online dating success!

1. Don’t make your first photo dorky, a group photo, or a photo with someone better looking than you. Put your best photo first!

2. Don’t post the shirtless bathroom photo or the fish picture. Colorado guys, we all know you love the outdoors and are excellent fishermen, but skip the fish picture.

3. Don’t skip writing your profile! If you don’t have the time to write that- you don’t have time to date or have a relationship.

4. Don’t make your profile a SNL skit. Be real…talk about what you’re looking for, and, of course, who you are. Feel free to add a little sarcasm, humor or whatever floats your boat. Write for your audience! Not for your bruhs!

5. Don’t have all of your pictures with other people, have all sunglasses in your photos, hiding your bald head, or pictures of scenery without you in them. Women need to know who YOU are!

❤️Need help with your love life? I can help! Check out my website for all the services I offer!

Heartbreak Recovery

💔Heartbreak Recovery❤️
 
I hear stories of heartbreak all the time. Story after story of poor timing, incompatibility and, of course, betrayal. All saying, “I’ve been hurt and I don’t want to be hurt again.” 💔
 
The sad truth is, everyone has been hurt…one way or another. Their particular story of heartbreak might be different however heartbreak is universal.
 
Heartbreak does not discriminate based on gender, age, race….no one is left out.
 
Some people stay in the fearful heartbroken place. They close their hearts and choose to not let anyone close to them again. That plan can sound very appealing to someone who’s had their heart destroyed.
 
However, they are now closed to future possibilities of love as well.
 
The good news is that when you’re out dating the person you’re having coffee with has been hurt too, knows your pain and has the same fears of it happening again. It levels the playing field between you two and can be actually be the foundation of a stronger, healthier and more intimate relationship.
 
How to recover from heartbreak:
 
🌟FEEL, HEAL, MOVE FORWARD and LOVE MORE.🌟
 
Feel your emotions. Let yourself be sad, pissed and whatever else you’re feeling.
Reflect on the relationship that ended, learn what you did wrong, learn how it was a gift to you and vow to make healthy changes for yourself and your future partners. Then, move on. Don’t bring your past heartbreak into you future relationships. Open your heart to love…all love.
 
You might just be surprised that love after heartbreak can be the deepest, truest and healthiest love of all.

Don’t Chase Him

Too often I see women chasing after men when really they should be walking away and moving onto someone who will invest in them.

The chasing frequently starts after they’ve slept together when the woman’s hormonal state is heightened with oxytocin and dopamine. (Watch my video, “oxytocin crazies” to learn more) Her biology has her solely focused on the man she just mated with. It’s just evolution, not her being needy or crazy. ⚡️

Biologically speaking, men are hunters and usually don’t respond well to being chased. They are primarily driven by testosterone and dopamine. These two hormones make him feel masculine and hungry…..

~Hungry for life.

~Hungry for love.

~Hungry for sex.

~Hungry for you.

~ And just flat out hungry. 🦁

The thing is, men NEED to pursue women. Not chase but pursue. There’s a difference. Chasing is needy and unhealthy. Pursuing is healthily going after and putting effort into what they want. Pursuing is a biological primal need. It’s ancestral and hormonal driven.

💡Men VALUE what they work for.

If they work hard and make money-
they value the money.💵

If they lift and have an amazing body-
they value that body.💪🏽

If they put time and energy into you-
they value you.🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏾🤴🏿

Remember ladies:
If he’s not pursuing you- he’s not interested and it’s time to move on. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY….there are tons of amazing men out there that would love to call, date and marry your beautiful self! 😘❤️

And, if he’s pursuing… He’s interested!😉

Contact me for help with your love life!