How to Manifest the Love you Want
How to Manifest Love—with advice from my soul sister Ashton August
I’m in love. In love with love. I’m also in love with bringing romance, joy, and love to the world. That’s why Ashton August has a special place in my heart. She is just as passionate about giving others tools to live with intention, joy and get everything that you want out of life. If you don’t know who she is…you’re in for a treat! Ashton and I host ‘Beach, Pray, Love,’ yoga retreats (we are still glowing from our Tulum where we hosted 13 beautiful women). She is the founder of Yogiapproved.com and author of ‘Learn, Grow, Shift’—a workbook that helps you have grace and poise as you enact what it is you seek to manifest in your life. She is my great friend, colleague, and soul sister. She invigorates my quest to help others.
I recently sat down with Ashton to share her wisdom with my Game of Love Podcast listeners. After reflecting on our conversation I am eager to share some of the incredible advice we have on manifesting what it is you want. You’ll walk away with the powerful knowledge of how to think, speak and feel your way into the relationship of your dreams! It’s going to change your love life.
First—what is manifestation?
Before we get started, know this: manifestation does not have to be intimidating and, in fact, is so simple to apply! You can do it right here, right now. Manifestation is a powerful concept but it’s easy to put into practice when you have the proper understanding and the tools to do so. Let’s break it down. As the law of attraction states, everything is made up of energy and like attracts like. Whatever it is you’re putting out there (thoughts, actions) is the same energy you’re attracting back. Here’s an example: We all know those people (maybe it’s you!) that are always saying “I have the worst luck, nothing ever goes my way” These people are affirming a ‘bad luck’ energy and that’s the exact same energy they’re attracting back.
We also know that man or woman who exudes confidence, walks tall and believes good things are coming their way. And damn, it DOES come their way, again and again! What’s their secret? Manifestation! It’s important to watch your thoughts words and actions because they’re actively creating the reality you’re experiencing.
How can manifestation improve your love life?
We are all looking for love. Manifestation does not only help you find love—but love that’s greater and more fulfilling. As my girl Ashton says “You are so worthy of that love. You deserve it. You will have it.” I also get that the world of dating is tumultuous now; frustrations, nights alone, apps, bad dates. People don’t know what to do to get what they want! The law of attraction and manifestation can play a huge role in finding what you’re looking for.
Ashton and I know this to our core—the universe is listening! It’s listening to our words and thoughts, so when we say something like “ugh, there aren’t any good men” the universe says back, “Ok girl if that’s the case then I won’t send you any good men!” Ashton shared this incredible insight with us: When you say something like “there are no good men” the underlying meaning is really “I am lacking. I am not finding good men. There are only bad men.” Wow, that’s heavy. And if you really think that’s true, then you’ll be attracting more of those ‘bad men’. Flip those negative thoughts on their head! Attract it, affirm it, and make it empowered and intentional.
Visualize the details
When it comes to getting what you yearn for, it’s all in the details. You’ve got to figure out exactly what it is you want! I’m not talking “I want a house, I want a partner” because that means the universe is going to give you some random home and random person. Ashton nailed it when she said you need to create a filter for the universe. Get specific. Instead of “I want a significant other,” go further. “I want someone who is educated, kind, successful, etc.”
Literally, close your eyes and visualize the details. If you want a husband/wife then figure out what their physical attributes are like, what the relationship is like, and how your life changes or shifts because of them. This is the most important and wild, life-changing part (again, Ashton dropping her insane knowledge!)—you need to live your life like you have that thing or person in your life already!
Try manifestation with the little things. Manifest a front row parking spot, manifest that a tough conversation with a friend or family member is going to go well, manifest that you are going to nail that presentation. Become acutely aware of the little things you’re manifesting moment to moment and day to day and become aware of any negative manifestations that you might not have even noticed!
One way to practice is to start accepting compliments. Ladies, you are often guilty of this! Hearing the good, believing the good and then accepting that compliment with a smile is so attractive. If you are on a date and you get a compliment from a man and you graciously accept it—THAT IS SEXY. If you reject that compliment you’re doing just the opposite, and you’ve shut him down. Simply instilling that self-awareness in how you think and how you’re speaking to yourself and others is the premise for practicing manifestation.
Be kind to yourself
Try this today. Think about something that you habitually say that might be negative or not self-serving. For example, “it’s too late to find love, all the good men/women are taken.” If you continue to say these things you’re continuing to affirm them and truly believe them. Let’s try something new. You could say “you know what, I’m not just worthy of love, I’m going to find it!” Your dream man or woman isn’t going to knock on your door right that minute (well, maybe they will!) but just starting that positive self-talk is you putting out all the goodness to the universe and it’s exactly what you’re going to get back. Manifestation has no limits. It’s up to YOU how things manifest and how it comes to fruition.
How to make it a habit?
Ashton shares these three easy words: Practice, Pretend, Prepare.
Practice – Practice living the life you want with the love you want.
Practice speaking positive affirmations. If we can think anything why wouldn’t we choose to think we are spectacular, and that your dream person is coming your way? Take yourself out, take yourself on that trip and don’t wait for Mr. or Mrs. right to live that life you desire! When you start practicing as if you already have the love of your life in your life, THAT makes you attractive. There is a sparkle and shine to that man and woman—its a magnet for dates, attraction, and love.
Pretend – Pretend you already have it!
You’ve visualized it, focused on it, and you’re speaking positively to affirm what it is you desire. But there’s another layer: how you would act if you have that thing or person in your life? How you would dress, act, view the world, and treat others and yourself? We’ve all heard the saying ‘dress for the job you want’ and that’s all manifestation! The moment you start acting as if you already have the thing you are manifesting, the universe pays attention, you feel that shift and others will definitely take notice.
Prepare – Prepare for the real thing because guess what, it’s already speeding your way.
Here’s a tip: If you’re looking around for love and marriage, you should probably stop sleeping around! Additionally, if you’re sleeping with people you know aren’t ‘the one’ or even something long term then you’re sending the signal that this non-commital not fulfilling love life is the one you want. Figure out what you want and anything that doesn’t align with that—get rid of it! With grace and kindness, of course. Another way to prepare is to mentally establish that positive self-talk habit. When you have that inner confidence, it’s impossible not to act (and believe) that you are worthy of love. It’s the difference between going on a date expecting it to be a failure and going on that date knowing-and frankly expecting-that love will happen for you.
You guys, Ashton and I are so excited about what is out there for all of you! And wow, there is so much more to share about manifesting, self-talk, and attracting everything you desire and deserve. Tune in to this week’s Game of Love episode to hear more: Ashton and I share personal examples of how we’ve manifested everything from the perfect home to dates with athletes and even the perfect conch shell (yes, you can manifest anything!). We also dive deeper into ending negative dating patterns—this topic is so important—and how some of the work is hard but so worth what’s on the other side.
I had a blast recording with my beautiful friend Ashton, and I can’t wait for you to listen to more of the goodness she brings to the world. You can also find more from us at yogiapproved.com where I am a contributing writer for their Love & Sex advice section and (so excited!) now an approved yoga instructor. I can’t wait for you all to put this into practice and watch as your love life is transformed!
Until next time, get out there and love each other.