Butterflies in your stomach, nonstop thinking of them, checking your phone to see if they texted, recalling everything they said and did on your last date….You know that feeling when you’re into a person you just started dating! You’re so excited, right?!
Well, what if you’re not feeling someone you’re dating…what then?!
This is when ghosting sounds like a great idea. It would be much easier to just disappear, suddenly having a family emergency, a huge project at work or a sick pet than to have a convo.
But, being on the other end of ghosting and lame excuses just plain sucks.
Of course, we don’t want to hurt anyone. But, stringing them along will probably hurt them more then being honest and upfront. The sooner you end it, the less it will hurt them.
Let’s be better daters. Let’s take the higher road. Communicate lovingly, directly and authentically.
Here’s how to break it off kindly:
-Do be gentle and pretty honest. I like using an old leadership tip, “two strokes for one poke”. For every one negative you can say two positive to lessen the blow.
-Don’t go for the jugular and say something like, “I think you’re super boring. I don’t find you attractive and will never sleep with you.”
-Don’t say things you don’t want or mean. “Maybe if something changes I’ll let you know” OR “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
-Don’t give mixed signals. “You’re a really great person but work is crazy busy and I just don’t have time.” You’re saying that you’re interested but don’t have time.
-Do put the shoe on the other foot. Think about how you’d like to receive that kind of news. That will help you communicate with kindness.
Try something like this:
“Hey ______, It’s important to me to be upfront and honest out of respect for you and myself. You are a real gentleman. Although, I enjoyed spending time with you I’m not interested in exploring this any further. Thank you for understanding. I know It sounds super cliche, but I do wish you well! Take care and be well. Sincerely, ______”
It’s better to get it over with so you and the other person can move on to bigger and better things!
Need help?! Contact me for quick and effective dating advice with my Dating 911 service!
Now, get out there and love each other.