When it comes to love and dating, the seasons matter! That’s why it’s the perfect time to talk about what’s happening right now…cuffing season!
The ways we navigate connecting, hooking up and finding love change throughout the year just like our wardrobes. And when it comes to THIS time of year (fall/end of summer) things change a lot.
What is cuffing season?
It’s a force to be reckoned with. It’s something to keep your eye on if you are single or dating.
It’s pressure, stress but also a phenomenon you can totally prep for. You just need a little help from me!
The leaves are falling, is your love life?
Here we are in September and early October where there is a major shift in how we view the dating world. The leaves start to change, we start dreaming about holiday plans, we lineup on Sunday for football…all fun things.
But if we are single or dating we feel a STRONG urge to couple up.
Cuffing season is what happens when we start to think about the chilly days and romanticized moments ahead, which then makes us fantasize about how great it would be to be with someone.
I’m going to help you prepare for and navigate cuffing season so you can glide through it confidently and stay optimistic no matter what your relationship status!
When cuffing season hits we panic.
The panic comes from totally natural and normal human responses.
First, our hormones push us to partner up for the winter. We know what’s ahead – fewer nights out due to cold weather, yummy warm meals perfect for sharing and more nights at home watching movies and lazing by the fireplace. Sounds romantic, right?
Second, our instinct to be in a relationship kicks in big time. We want to have someone to bring to holiday parties, someone to be safe and warm with, and someone to get holiday gifts for. The holiday pressure from your family also plays a big role in your stress levels.
Stay tuned for my Thanksgiving week post about surviving family pressure during the holidays. That’s a whole other topic!
But here is the thing – we need to look out for how we respond to this season – our hormones and instincts can push us to act in ways we wouldn’t usually. We might try TOO hard to find a partner and we might try to make a relationship out of something that isn’t right. Basically, cuffing season makes us a little crazy!
I guess you’ll do…?
Be careful about getting into a relationship just for the sake of getting into a relationship.
I’m not saying that you’re more desperate during cuffing season, but the stress of it all can make us forget about what it is we REALLY want in a partner. Even I feel the heat around this time of year! Nobody is immune.
My advice: Keep it 100! Today is THE PERFECT DAY to either create or revisit your love list. If you have my 7 secrets to manifest love, you’ve heard my advice to make a list of exactly what it is you want in a partner. Not just general things like—active, has a good job, likes to travel—but get to the details! Is he or she optimistic? Do they want kids? How will you feel when you’re around them?
THESE are the things you need to put out to the universe AND remember when you are tempted to partner up with someone. If they don’t meet your list criteria…it’s a no! Do NOT try to date someone just because it’s cuffing season. You are perfect and amazing and will make it through single if that’s how things play out. Trust me.
Then there is the time pressure. During cuffing season, we feel like the clock is ticking. It seems like ALL our friends are in relationships. New years is coming, holiday parties are getting planned and OMG what if we go into the holidays single. I say—f that! This season is just another beautiful time to get to know and LOVE YOUR SELF.
Summer lovin’. Did it happen too fast?
Let’s talk about your summer boo. Some of you have met somebody this summer and things have been fun, summer casual, but now you’re all of a sudden, out of the blue thinking…are we exclusive?
Cuffing season intensifies the need to be with someone. There’s a push to make it official… sometimes out of the blue! I caution you to really think if you are wanting the relationship for the sake of cuffing up, or because this person really is a great match. Also, be careful not to freak out the person you’re dating with an unexpected ‘what are we’ talk. If you’ve been casually dating for a month and then invite them to Christmas with your entire extended family…you’re going to scare them off! Remember that you might be having feelings that are not
Build your toolbox for self-love and sanity
Another piece of advice is to create a cuffing season toolbox. Create a list of things to do and people to spend time with when it’s cold and cuddly and you feel alone during this season.
Hang out with your positive single friends! Plan a girls-only/all bro holiday brunch or football party. Plan a holiday party with your favorite people and make sure its NOT ALL COUPLES. This is also a great time of the year to pick up a new hobby!
Start taking those language lessons you’ve always wanted to do, take an improv class, go salsa dancing and do fun things that are just for you.
You will think so much less about being single and just bask in the glow of having so much fun living YOUR badass life.
Change the channel.
This next bit of advice is for my sappy holiday content fans—you know who you are. Be wary of the cheesy unrealistic romantic stuff! Turn off the Hallmark! Don’t watch Love Actually on loop.
If you are going to go deep into the warm and fuzzy holiday movies do it with your favorite friends instead of alone only armed with a box of tissues and halo top ice cream. Holiday movies are fun, but treat them with care!
I love to go the opposite route and make a holiday playlist that I can listen to anytime that cuffing season sadness sneaks in. Your playlist should be less ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ and more ‘I was born like this don’t even gotta try’ Lizzo kind of vibe!
What this season is really about.
And finally, Get your gratitude on! Write down all the ways you are grateful for the friends, family, and life you have. Take the holiday season as a wonderful time to share with the people you love instead of thinking about what, or who, you don’t have. Your life is full of abundance so take notice!
You’ve got this!
To all my singles – CUFFING SEASON IS COMING! But the good news – you got this. Be strong. be confident. Be thoughtful about what is happening and realize that thoughts you’re having are normal but you now know how to navigate the season with grace.