Jessica Portrait

What are we doing wrong?

Dating can be hard, stressful…  and downright confusing. When we are dating it seems as though we’re constantly questioning ourselves and our next moves. Every text, every date, every conversation can feel like we’re strategizing in hopes that we’ll say the right thing, make sure they like us, that we keep the text conversation going, get the next date, and so on. 

Wouldn’t it be so much better if you could just be you, have fun, enjoy the process and not have to overthink everything? You could say what you feel, trust your every move, and feel comfortable letting things play out without the stress, gameplay, and unnecessary worry. Sounds amazing, right?

The good news is you can easily make this your new reality with one simple secret:

Follow and use your intuition. 

Using your intuition means you let the universe guide you so you don’t have to constantly be navigating every decision.You tap in and trust.

Using your intuition will have you feeling confident and relaxed on dates. It makes deciding what to text easier, assists you in choosing who to date and who to steer clear from—and you’ll just have more fun!. It will also keep you from making bad decisions, wasting your time, and choosing people that are not right for you.

How does one listen to their intuition?

Everyone is intuitive whether you know it or not. There are varying degrees of intuition – some people could feel a little inkling, while for others it’s very strong. Today you are going to learn how to grow your intuition, make it stronger and more powerful to help you have a better dating life. 

There are two major ways you can listen to and cultivate your intuition:

Your body is talking, are you paying attention?

The first way is through bodily sensations. Throughout the ages, society has used sayings describing our intuition as it relates to our body.  Sayings like trust your gut, butterflies in my stomach, follow your heart, I have a funny feeling about this, Something feels off, I can’t stomach it, my gut reaction, and so on.

If you listen to your body, it will give you clear guidance. Your body is either going to say yes or no, this is good or bad, do this or don’t do that. 

We’ve all been around people that make us feel a little uneasy. Maybe the hair is standing up on the back of our neck, your stomach tightens up a little bit, or something feels off even though you may not be able to rationally and verbally explain it.

There are also people who, when you’re around them, make you feel tingly, warm, excited. Their vibe just feels good to you. Your heart goes pitter-patter, you have butterflies in your stomach, and you have an overall sense of peace and tranquility. Think about a time you’ve had an immediate closeness and trust with someone who is a perfect stranger. Perhaps that person is today one of your closest friends. Your body knew first!

Always listen to your body’s messages. 

It is always right and it will always serve your highest good.

The second way you might experience your intuition is through your internal voice. It’s the quiet wise powerful voice that lovingly guides you throughout your life. It can come in the form of a whisper, or a booming warning. 

It’s not the same as your constant mental chatter that’s going on in your head. When your intuition speaks to you, It is both trusting and familiar. It can feel like it’s outside of you … yet at the same time, it is you. 

Your intuition can come up at random times. It can come up when you are specifically asking for help. 

For example, you’re driving somewhere and your intuition says turn right here—you don’t know why—but next thing you know you come across the perfect apartment complex that you’ve been searching for for months. 

Your friend calls you and invites you to go out—you’re tired, you don’t feel like going out—but there’s a voice in your head that says “I should go.” You get up, get dressed, go out and have one of the best nights of your life.  

Your intuition is always guiding you through your life. 

Your dating life is no exception.

Listening to your intuitive voice and feeling your bodily sensations will direct you where you need to go and be your internal dating coach. 

It’s simple: Stop. Listen.

If all you do is stop and listen, your dating life will be so much easier. You won’t have to fret over things, overanalyze and drive yourself crazy. 

Let’s say someone asks you out and your body clenches up … that’s a resounding no and your indicator to decline. Or, maybe you’ve been swiping for about 37 minutes and suddenly you stop on somebody’s picture and there’s just something about them that you’re drawn to even though they’re not your usual type.   

Perhaps you’re on a date with someone, have had a glass of wine and an appetizer—you’re feeling a little tipsy, having a good time and they say “Hey you do you want to have another drink?” 

The second they ask that question your intuition will give you the answer.  The answer might be a flutter of excitement in your chest and belly and that’s your sign to say yes. Or it could be a voice in your head that says “nope, dates over. It’s time to go home.” 

Here are a few tips to tap into your intuition. 

  • Get quiet! In order to hear your intuition, you must quiet all the mental chit chat. Taking deep breaths, do a mini-meditation, and ask the Universe for guidance.
  • To sharpen your intuition, use it all the time and everywhere. When you’re making daily decisions, let your intuition call the shots. Let your intuition tell you what route you’ll walk your dog, what shoes to wear, even what to have for breakfast. 
  • Take note of your bodily sensations with everyone you’re around. Do certain people make your body get tense? Do others make you feel calm and relaxed?
  • One of my favorite things to do on a date is quietly check in with myself and see how I’m feeling. I scan my body for any uneasiness, tightness, and all the good stuff too. If I pick up on some less than positive feelings I’ll go a step further and ask myself why am I feeling like this. Why is there tightness in my hips? Why am I picking at my nails? 
  • Know the difference between your day-to-day voice and your intuitive voice. Your day-to-day voice is fueled by your past traumas, societal conditioning, and personal beliefs. Whereas your intuition—which is free of all those things and comes from a higher state of consciousness— is free of all of that ‘stuff.’ 
  • Here’s how you differentiate between these two voices: Your day-to-day voice comes from the rational mind and from thought. It’s the I shoulds. It can feel bossy, controlling, and repetitive. Your intuitive voice is clairvoyant and unique. It feels healthy, supportive, and kind. It might be subtle, it might be loud, but it is always loving. 
  • Be conscious of these two different voices;both of them serve you in different situations, but trust that your intuition always has your back.

Practice listening and be rewarded!

I can’t stress how important listening to your intuition is not only for your dating life but for your entire life. Start practicing listening to it daily so you can easily implement it in your dating life. 

Let your intuition drive your love life and make the decisions for you, keeping you safe, at ease, and on track. This secret will change your life.

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